Why confess our secrets to strangers?

Try to ask around and will make a strange discovery, regarding travel by train and by plane, almost all think they are "stuck" on the side of a stranger, who never stops llomotituri with details on health his work or marriage, but almost no one will accept that the same thing happened.

Maybe there is indeed a type that spends life in public transportation showing that the facts themselves, sooner or later, we all met. But a similar explanation, in light of studies Harvard sociologist Mario Luis Small, is that foreigners believe more than we think. Many researchers say that "persons who speak more" are those who have closer. Modern romantic ideal is "to marry precisely with best friend", someone who is at the same time loving, reliable, father or mother of the child and friend / friend to drink. However, from a poll with the question "who the last time you open?", Showed that about half of respondents answered that it was not an important person for them, but for a bartender, a hairdresser or perhaps someone, with whom they had "stuck" near the window in a six-hour flight.

It may seem a very bad news: in this world of atomized are so desperate to be open to anyone who is willing to listen to us? In a minority of cases, says Small, the real motive is simply the availability, but many times "shfryhemi" foreign persons precisely because they are foreign. How to get started, do not want to discuss our relationship with our spouse extramarital, or perhaps do not want a brother or a sister to go tell a relative rest our financial problems. But above all willingly abandon what sociologists call "social downward Comparison", which means we like to think we're above the others. And it achieved hard-kin, because if we think that our best friend is nothing, then why did we choose as a friend?

To speak with someone who does not know better also brings other advantages. This helps us understand why analysts tend to respond çarëdo personal question with another question ("Why is it important for you to know?").

The analyst, said Freud, "should not be translucent in the eyes of his patient, should be like a mirror to show no other than what the patient tells him". For example, the knowledge that the person sitting in an armchair "has three children and pick harmonics", will certainly hard to psikanalitik process.

But there is no need to divide the theories of Freud to understand the advantages of being forced to listen to what we say, and consequently reflecting on it. A friend might intervene to ensure us, or what they would do in our country. Without a doubt will make the best of intentions, but it would not be very useful.

Perhaps our tendency to believe that there is a relative appeared more or less which in his famous essay, sociologist Mark Granovetter calls "the strength of weak ties". Many of the advantages of belonging to a social network, "apparently, does not stem from our strong ties, but the weak ones." Who wants the job, you can read the essay, finds with ease through weak ties. And this brings us to think how many friendships marriage can be saved if not claimed that people perform all possible roles within a relationship.

However, now I stop talking and let him return to your book. From one moment to another "plane will sit on the ground".